Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
