Fuck appropriateness.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
