My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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