they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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