I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
