Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
