My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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