I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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