He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
