My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
