I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
