In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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