i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
