He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
