jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
