still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
