hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
third nipple confirmed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
