My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we made out on top of his cat.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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