Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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