Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
