3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
