thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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