I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
