i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize