i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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