sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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