just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
