I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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