she smelled like a LAN party
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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