my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
