But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
