do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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