is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
