wanna go halves on a baby?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize