he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
