think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
