It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
did you just send me my own nude
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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