i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
