once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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