(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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