No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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