Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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