WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
