He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
