I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize