Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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