3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
