Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
