Jerry, you need to find god
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
