My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
