yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
