Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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