the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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