just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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