But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
