So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
