you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
