Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
