I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
