she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
