Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
