if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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