dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
