Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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