Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
