PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize