i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
