I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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