i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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