aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
True college students do jello shots in the library
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
